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In our culture the belief that "To err is human, to forgive divine," is so prevalent that few of us question its wisdom. But do we ever completely forgive those who have betrayed us? Aren't some actions unforgivable? Can we achieve closure and healing without forgiving? Drawing on more than two decades of work as a practicing psychotherapist, more than fifty indepth interviews, and sterling research into the concept of forgiveness in our society, Dr. Jeanne Safer challenges popular opinion with her own searching answers to these and other questions. The result is a penetrating look at what is often a lonely, and perhaps unnecessary, struggle to forgive those who have hurt us the most and an illuminating examination of how to determine whether forgiveness is, indeed, the best path to take--and why, often, it is not.
For psychologists and psychotherapists, the notion of forgiveness has been enjoying a substantial vogue. For their patients, it holds the promise of "moving on" and healing emotional wounds. The forgiveness of others - and of one's self - would seem to offer the kind of peace that psychotherapy alone has never been able to provide. In this volume, psychologist Sharon Lamb and philosopher Jeffrie Murphy argue that forgiveness has been accepted as a therapeutic strategy without serious, critical examination. They intend this volume to be a closer, critical look at some of these questions: why is forgiveness so popular now? What exactly does it entail? When might it be appropriate for a therapist not to advise forgiveness? When is forgiveness in fact harmful? Lamb and Murphy have collected many previously-unpublished chapters by both philosophers and psychologists that examine what is at stake for those who are injured, those who injure them, and society in general when such a practice becomes commonplace. Some chapters offer cautionary tales about forgiveness therapy, while others paint complex portraits of the social, cultural, and philosophical factors that come into play with forgiveness. The value of this volume lies not only in its presentation of a nuanced view of this therapeutic trend, but also as a general critique of psychotherapy, and as a valuable testimony of the theoretical and practical possibilities in an interdisciplinary collaboration between philosophy and clinical psychology.
A journalist, a journey, and the transformative power of forgiveness Veteran journalist Megan Feldman had never considered herself a forgiving person. She'd just gone through a breakup and felt perfectly justified in hating her ex forever. But then she encountered a man who had truly forgiven the teenager who murdered his only son. How could anyone forgive that? Was there something wrong with him? Or was there something wrong with her? So Megan set out on a global adventure, not just to find out what forgiveness is, but how it works. Examining situations as mundane as road rage, as painful as cheating spouses, and as unthinkable as war crimes, she discovers the remarkable physical and psychological benefits of forgiveness, and reveals some of the best ways we can learn to do it ourselves, as both individuals and communities. Because it turns out that the ability to forgive and put down the burdens of the past really is what determines our quality of life?whether after a nasty breakup or a much more severe loss. Inspirational, useful, and wise, Triumph of the Heart is a book for readers of Anne Lamott and Brené Brown.
Table of Contents Foreword Preface Acknowledgments 1. Father, Where Are You? 2. Continued Reign of Terror 3. Whirlpool of Injustice and Betrayal 4. New Beginnings 5. Struggling to Forgive 6. Mother, I Am Angry 7. Mother, I Don't Forgive You 8. My Father's Eyes 9. Setting the Foundation 10. Mourning 11. Forgiveness Is a Process 12. And Then There Is Forgiveness
Forgiveness Is Always Difficult and Often Illogical. But It's the Only Remedy God Offers to Heal Our Hearts. With the experience of more than two decades in the ministry, Dr. Robert Jeffress has come to the conclusion that forgiveness is the bottom-line issue of life. Failure to receive God's forgiveness results in eternal hell; failure to grant forgiveness to those who have hurt us results in a living hell. While most people - especially Christians - esteem the concept of forgiveness in theory, few have mastered what one person has called "the art of forgiveness." As C.S. Lewis once said, "Forgiveness is a beautiful word, until you have something to forgive." When Forgiveness Doesn't Make Sense is an intensely biblical yet extremely practical approach to this crucial issue. Dr. Jeffress deals with the major misunderstandings about forgiveness: believing you cannot forgive those who never ask for it, confusing forgiveness with forgetting or with reconciliation, and believing that forgiveness automatically erases the consequences of harmful actions. Dr. Jeffress explains the process of our forgiveness by God, as well as the power of our forgiveness of others. Readers will also learn questions to ask themselves before they seek forgiveness from another, essentials of an effective apology, reasons others may refuse to forgive them, action steps for dealing with painful memories, a check-list to determine whether they have genuinely forgiven another, and much more. Forgiveness is difficult and often illogical. But When Forgiveness Doesn't Make Sense will equip and encourage readers to become more forgiving-and to experience God's forgiveness more deeply. At some time in our lives we will be hurt deeply by another person. It may be a family member who mistreats us, a business associate who cheats us, a child who rebels against us, a friend who betrays us, a mate who deserts us, or a God who disappoints us. While we can't control the hurts that come into our lives, we can choose what to do with those hurts. We can let them make us bitter, or we can release them through forgiveness. While forgiveness doesn't always seem to make sense, as Dr. Robert Jeffress explains in his important new book, it is the only way God has given us to effectively resolve the pain of our past. More importantly, it's the obligation of every Christian.
Building on her signature message of using the mind to master difficult emotions, Joyce Meyer focuses on the most destructive, insidious one of all: anger. It is responsible for broken relationships, sleepless nights, high blood pressure and ulcers. It destroys friendships, marriages and families, not to mention peace of mind. Anger is especially hard to handle for many Christians who have learned from childhood that "good Christians don't get angry." Meyer argues that properly handled, anger is an alert system that something is wrong and needs to be resolved. In her latest book, she delves into the important process of forgiving, explaining its positive impact on the roots, the forms and the results of anger. Why forgive? Joyce explains that forgiving is the only thing that can free one from the terrible turmoil that anger causes to spill over into every part of life. Meyer understands that life will never be fair, but that is not a reason to let anger destroy our well-being and health. This is her guide to navigating that thorny territory and finding true peace.

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