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Explores the effects of recurring shock, including its impact on miscommunication, abuse in relationships, addictions, depression, and mental illness.
How to cope with traumatic experiences.
Includes bibliographical references (p. 173-175) and index.
After a traumatic experience, we are told time and time again to take care of ourselves and reach out to the people we love. But what happens when you reach out and your partner can't reach back? This book is for people in relationships where either partner has faced trauma in any of its forms: violence, natural disasters, war, life-threatening accidents, crime, health problems, or loss of a loved one. One or both partners can use Healing Together to recover from trauma or help their partner recover by understanding the impact of trauma, learning to communicate their needs, managing anger, dealing with traumatic memories, recapturing lost intimacy, and recognizing their resiliency as a couple. The practical, step-by-step program presented in this guide is inspired and informed by the authors' clinical experiences with patients suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and their work with firefighters and their partners in the aftermath of 9/11. In the wake of tragedy, this book can help you build a resilient relationship and move forward with compassion, hope, and love. Healing Together is a beautiful book… an invaluable resource that will help couples face their traumas together. -Sue Johnson, Ph.D., professor of psychology at University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight
Written for those working to heal developmental trauma and seeking new tools for self-awareness and growth, this book focuses on conflicts surrounding the capacity for connection. Explaining that an impaired capacity for connection to self and to others and the ensuing diminished aliveness are the hidden dimensions that underlie most psychological and many physiological problems, clinicians Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre introduce the NeuroAffective Relational Model® (NARM), a unified approach to developmental, attachment, and shock trauma that, while not ignoring a person’s past, emphasizes working in the present moment. NARM is a somatically based psychotherapy that helps bring into awareness the parts of self that are disorganized and dysfunctional without making the regressed, dysfunctional elements the primary theme of the therapy. It emphasizes a person’s strengths, capacities, resources, and resiliency and is a powerful tool for working with both nervous system regulation and distortions of identity such as low self-esteem, shame, and chronic self-judgment.
We have roughly estimated there to be over one hundred million helping professionals worldwide – those who engage in an action that benefits others at a cost to self. That is a lot of people. Hard work and dedication can take a heavy toll on the helper. The cost of helping others cannot really be assessed by the naked eye. Perhaps that is why so little has been written or done about it. In truth, the toll for many helpers is high and the amount of recovery resources is low. This book is written for anyone in the helping professions – mental health, legal, law enforcement, clergy, teachers, and countless other professions – with the purpose of helping you recognize, address, and recover from vicarious trauma and then continuously maintain a healthy lifestyle. Even though you are well-trained and complete continuing education on a regular basis, we fear you remain unconscious and uneducated about the signs and symptoms associated with Vicarious Trauma. Intrusive imagery, cynicism, poor memory, isolation, volatile moods, irrational fears, lack of spiritedness, physical problems or symptoms are noticed but ultimately disregarded or attributed to other better known diagnoses. How many times have you heard people ask, “How do you do this all day every day?” If you think about it, it really isn’t strange to anyone that listening to trauma stories every day all day takes a heavy toll on your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being. We ourselves have frequently returned home from a long week of helping others only to discover that we are in a negatively altered emotional and physiological state. We too have endured our share of sleepless nights, elevated anxieties, periods of depression and physical ailments. We have heard our families and friends complain that we are impatient, distant and estranged from them. We too have suffered. We are not ashamed to admit it. That is why we have written this book. It is troubling to us that most ethical codes do not mention the welfare of the helping professional when discussing Vicarious Trauma. We believe and we hope you agree that it is downright dangerous to continue to revere the image of the dedicated, self-sacrificing workers who never give a care to their own needs. This view perpetuates the unvoiced epidemic of Vicarious Trauma. We believe it is severely underreported in our population. We trust there are a lot of us out there suffering in silence. The welfare of the helping professional for him/herself is an ever increasing issue of ethical importance. Professional Boards advocate self-care. Self-care implies that the individual is responsible for preventing the problem when it does occur. Professional helpers often get blamed in very shaming ways for stress responses, rather than being encouraged to see stress as a natural response and as an opportunity for introspection and feedback. We truly believe that that our approach will maintain and strengthen the clear and good judgment of the helping professional and therefore, may well be the best way to serve the client, patient, or person.
Have you been traumatized by infidelity? The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to: • work through conflicting emotions • Understand yourself and your partner • Make important life decisions Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling, and explores heart-wrenchingly familiar case studies of couples struggling with monogamy. By the end of this book, you will have completed the six stages of healing and emerged with a whole heart, a full spirit, and the freedom to love again. From the Trade Paperback edition.

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