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Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
This volume brings together contributions on the study of sexual affairs in committed personal relationships. The editors enlisted colleagues with varied theoretical and methodological perspectives from Britain, the United States, and other countries. Together, their contributions provide a broad, cross-national perspective on affairs. Grounded in theoretical discussion, the chapters in this book introduce data collected by a broad range of methods, including attitude surveys, large statistical cohort studies, case studies, depth interviews, and group discussions. A number of contributors locate the theoretical discussion of affairs within the broader contemporary ordering of committed relationships, contrasting the liberating and empowering aspects of affairs with the damage they may inflict on society as a whole and on the lives of individuals and families. The themes of passion, transgression, secrecy, lies, betrayal, and gossip are common to a range of chapters throughout. The volume provides broad literature reviews and theoretical discussions concerning particular aspects of affairs, such as communication and jealousy. In addition, case studies are used for the more detailed exploration of heterosexual affairs and contemporary developments in gay male and lesbian relationships. The State of Affairs will be of interest to researchers, scholars, and students in social psychology; communication; sociology; family, social, and clinical psychology; and for practitioners in couple counseling.
One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.
Ben goes undercover in the White House to take on a SPYDER operative determined to assassinate the president in this latest addition to the New York Times bestselling Spy School series. Thirteen-year-old Ben Ripley has had a lot of field success despite only just beginning his second year at Spy School, something even graduates rarely experience. But he’d never have survived without the help from experienced agents and his friends. Now he’s been called in on a solo mission—and the fate of the United States of America is on his shoulders alone. The Mission: Prevent a presidential assassination by infiltrating the White House, and locating the enemy operative. But when the president’s son is as helpful as a hamster, and a trained SPYDER agent would never appear to be up to something (they’re far too clever for that), Ben may be in over his head this time. And when everything goes wrong, Ben must rely on his Spy School friends to save his reputation…but even friends can double-cross or be swayed to the enemy’s side.
After a lifetime's close observation of the continent, one of the world's finest Africa correspondents has penned a landmark book on life and death in modern Africa. It takes a guide as observant, experienced, and patient as Richard Dowden to reveal its truths. Dowden combines a novelist's gift for atmosphere with the scholar's grasp of historical change as he spins tales of cults and commerce in Senegal and traditional spirituality in Sierra Leone; analyzes the impact of oil and the internet on Nigeria and aid on Sudan; and examines what has gone so badly wrong in Zimbabwe, Rwanda, Burundi, and the Congo. Dowden's master work is an attempt to explain why Africa is the way it is, and enables its readers to see and understand this miraculous continent as a place of inspiration and tremendous humanity.
Presents a manual of everything that a woman who is involved with a married man should know, and provides tips aimed to keep the mistress in charge of the relationship and of the situation in general in order to minimize hurt.

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