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We’ve all been there. The alarm goes off, and the thought of your morning commute, a buttoned-up shirt, and e-mail makes you want to cry. You don’t want to go to work—YOU CAN’T. So what’s a 9-to-5er to do? KISS: Keep it Simple, Sickie. "I’m (sniffle) not feeling well, got this scratchy feeling in my throat (cough), think it’d be best for me to sit this one out, boss." Click. Congratulations, you just called in sick and were lying through your down comforter about it. Ahh, the thrill of deceit! Let’s be honest—at least briefly. Sometimes you just need a day. The Sick Day Handbook is your guide to freedom. In Ellie’s words, "This is a course in manipulation . . . This is about lying." Anyone who reads to "the end" and follows Bishop’s creative instructions will have earned their DDD: Doctor of Downright Devious. Filled with symptoms and prescriptions for common illnesses and proper stage-setting techniques to pull off the previously unthinkable Tuesday-after-a-long-weekend call-in (your pregnant friend had the baby!), you’ll have a pool of credible excuses just waiting to be used (scripts included). If you thought it couldn’t get any better—well, read on. Your boss will think you are such a moral person (what a doll . . . taking care of your elderly neighbor and her 3-legged cat all the while suffering from Vertigo and an IBS flare-up) he’ll practically beg you to take a day off! So what are you waiting for, nervous dialers? Get your slippers on—daytime television awaits you. Learn our tricks and no one will ever doubt your "flu" again!
A guide for the creation and effective use of an employee manual covers recent law changes, rules for social media and mobile device policies, new employment law regulations, and sample policies that can be tailored to different workplaces.
A mommy manifesto for the mom who proudly strives to be less-than-perfect Michelle Lamar is a wry observer of the politics of elementary schools, the perfect moms who run them, and the kids who are trying to grow up without being embarrassed to death by their parents. This book imparts invaluable advice on how to survive the brutal world of parenting, bake sales, and the PTA. The White Trash Mom Handbook is a welcome and humorous approach to handling the pressures of modern-day motherhood. Readers can get a good laugh while learning the knowledge and skills needed to become a White Trash Mom: Fake Bakin' - transform store-bought treats into bake sale bestsellers! Making Friends - how to spot a fellow White Trash Mom from 50 paces Helping Out - give back to the school without sacrificing your time or sanity. The White Trash Mom Handbook will teach moms to let go of being the best and embrace their inner rebel so they can enjoy their kids more, avoid PTA purgatory, and get a real life.
To be an effective manager in today's library, you must know and comply with numerous federal and state laws and regulations. This handbook offers how to information on academic library management and provides a single, up-to-date source for laws, regulations, executive orders, guidelines, and court decisions on employee and employer rights and responsibilities. It includes information on laws relating to recruitment and selection of personnel; the employment relationship; wages and hours; employee benefits; health, safety, and privacy; and income replacement (e.g., disability, workers' compensation). In addition, potential management problems (e.g., discipline and discharge) are discussed and case studies are presented with suggestions for problem resolution. This material will keep administrators and human resources staff apprised of the actions of such organizations as the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, and the Office of Federal Cont
Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's easier with The Little Book of Big Excuses, with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you didn't do, things you did wrong, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: "Fake Don't Flake." In here are your excuses for being late for or not showing up to any number of places for any number of reasons--grandma's birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentists appointments. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" is where to look when you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name--again. Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. If you need to learn how to say "I'd Love to, but"--the art of articulating just why you can't do most anything you don't want to do--in any language, this is the book for you. Demonstrate your incompetence. When someone asks you to bring those complicated hors d'oeuvres, show up half an hour late with half the ingredients. Bonus section here: how to get someone else to do all the work while you still get the credit. "Delivery Subsystem Failure--Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!" Never, ever again will you want for an excuse for not writing, calling, IMing, or emailing. Fake communication breakdowns make fail-safe excuses for a myriad of don't wannas and didn't do its. "All's Fair in Love" contains excuses for not calling, not going on the second date, forgetting the birthday or anniversary of the one you love. Plus how to retreat with remorse, even from the altar steps. Hint: You could have your mother or your manager phone it in. That's what Julia Roberts did. * Hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations, plus "The Excuse Clinic: How to Make Lame Excuses Walk and Okay Excuses Sing." * Life is serious business, people, so pay attention. Let Addie help you off the hook.

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