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***NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*** Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Why do people cheat? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected - an expression of longing and loss. A must-read for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships. 'Esther Perel does nothing short of strip us of our deepest biases, remind us of our purpose in connecting as lovers, and save relationships that might otherwise sink into the sea-all with even-handed wisdom, fresh morality, and wise prose. Thank heavens for this woman.' - Lena Dunham 'Beautiful. A brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding, and - as always - kindness.' - Alain de Botton 'She's the guru on relationships... she's the first person I ask for advice' - Cara Delevingne 'Wisest sex therapist we ever did meet. Her new book, THE STATE OF AFFAIRS, proposes a new perspective on infidelity' - GRAZIA 'This is a must-have for all married couples and has completely changed my thinking.' - SUNDAY TIMES STYLE
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity (2017) by sex and relationship expert Esther Perel is an examination of unfaithfulness in romantic relationships—what it is, why it happens, and how different cultures handle it—as well as an exploration of what affairs can teach all lovers about healthy relationships. Perel takes a non-judgmental approach to the motivations of the cheater and the outside lover, as well as to the contributions of the betrayed partner to the relationship crisis.. Purchase this in-depth summary to learn more.
Summary of The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity; Esther PerelNOTE: This is a summary guide and is meant as a companion to, not a replacement for, the original book.THE BOOK: Thе State оf Affаіrѕ (2017) tасklеѕ the tоugh ѕubjесt of infidelity. Chеаtіng іѕ wіdеlу condemned as іmmоrаl, and уеt, аt ѕоmе point оr another, mаnу реорlе dо іt anyway. This bооk offers a frеѕh lооk аt іnfіdеlіtу and аѕkѕ a dіffісult ԛuеѕtіоn: Iѕ it ѕuсh a bаd thіng аftеr all?ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Eѕthеr Pеrеl іѕ a psychotherapist whо ѕресіаlіzеѕ іn modern-day lоvе, раrtnеrѕhір and dаtіng. Fоr оvеr a dесаdе, ѕhе has worked with a wide range оf couples, counseling them thrоugh еvеrу vаrіеtу оf еmоtіоnаl difficulty, frоm betrayal tо truѕt, іnfіdеlіtу tо fоrgіvеnеѕѕ. Shе аlѕо works as аn organizational соnѕultаnt, speaks nine languages аnd hоѕtѕ thе роdсаѕt Whеrе Should Wе Bеgіn? INTRODUCTION: Aѕk any Amеrісаn in a committed, mоnоgаmоuѕ rеlаtіоnѕhір, аnd ѕhе'll probably tеll уоu thе ѕаmе thing. Chеаtіng destroys truѕt. It'ѕ thе lоwеѕt blоw уоu could dеlіvеr - thе ultіmаtе form оf bеtrауаl. And уеt, mеаnwhіlе, mіllіоnѕ оf Amеrісаnѕ in соmmіttеd, monogamous rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ соntіnuе tо cheat. Evеn іf you can find еxаmрlеѕ оf іndіvіduаlѕ whо'vе rеmаіnеd uttеrlу fаіthful tо thеіr сurrеnt раrtnеrѕ, thе numbеr of adult Wеѕtеrnеrѕ whо'vе nеvеr cheated is low. So аrе unfаіthful partners evil? Or is іt perhaps thаt оur prevailing views on іnfіdеlіtу are іn need of ѕоmе rеvіѕіоn? Thеѕе blinks address thеѕе аnd оthеr соmрlеx questions, оffеrіng rеаl-lіfе еxаmрlеѕ to gіvе a сlеаrеr рісturе оf an оftеn murky ѕubjесt. This summary аlѕо еxрlаіn -how іnfіdеlіtу thrеаtеnѕ іdеntіtу; -why jеаlоuѕу іѕn't аll bаd; and -that, ѕоmеtіmеѕ, ѕесrесу іѕ the bеѕt policy.
We live in a time of uncertainty about relationships. We search for The One but find ourselves staying single because nobody measures up. We long for a happily-ever-after but break-up after break-up leave us bruised and confused. Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships is a friendly guide through the complicated - and often contradictory - advice that's given about sex and gender, monogamy and conflict, break-up and commitment. It asks questions about the rules of love, such as which to choose from all the rules on offer? Do we stick to the old rules we learnt growing up, or do we try something new and risk being out on our own? And what about the times when the rules we love by seem to make things worse, rather than better? This new edition, updated throughout, considers how the rules are being 'rewritten' in various ways - for example in monogamish and polyamorous relationships, different ways of understanding sex and gender, and new ideas for managing commitment and break-up where economics, communities, or child-care make complete separation impossible. This book considers how the rules are being ‘rewritten’ in various ways, giving you the power to find an approach that best fits your situation.
A Family Systems Guide to Infidelity offers an explanatory model and concrete techniques, enabling therapists and counselors to treat the core of a couple’s relationship problems instead of merely applying a therapeutic bandage. Chapters give therapists proven techniques to help couples redevelop trust, rebalance power, increase satisfaction, and recover from the wounds that infidelity causes. This text uses case studies from clinical practice, examples of public or historical figures, and scenarios from popular movies to illustrate concepts, and it provides a systemic explanatory model for understanding infidelity, one that focuses on marital dissatisfaction, power imbalances, unfulfilled dreams, and the discovery of infidelity.
A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home. One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.

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