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What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded? He sent on his subs. God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute. God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn't be a fair match because all the 'good' players go to heaven. The devil smiled, replying, "Yes, but we've got all the refs." Football is obviously very serious business-- like when that disallowed goal was 'never off-side', and that was 'totally a dive' but it's a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win.